this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
