i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
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No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
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Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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