sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
