I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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