It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
