If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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