I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
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Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
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I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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