We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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