did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
