I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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