she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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