I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
