I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Randomize
