I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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