I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
birth control should be required to get into college
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
