My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
