it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
