I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
