it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
