What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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