it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
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Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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