if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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