just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
