cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
