are you still at the devil's house?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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