Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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