The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
