So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
