Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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