He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
