She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
