I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
