oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
