the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
