So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
