I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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