So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
