after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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