Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
