There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
