You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
