Your favorite bartender is back from prision
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
