Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
