Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
