she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
