Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
