i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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