When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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