Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
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