is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
