Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
