he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize