Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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