remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
