PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Randomize
