if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize