White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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