Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
