I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
