thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
