i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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