Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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